Basis of the Mind Part II A Beginner’s Guide to Befriending Your Emotions in 3 Steps
From the moment we first open our eyes, we begin to slowly learn how to understand our body, our mind, their reactions, and how they relate to the world and the experiences we go through. We’ve been taught that certain emotions are “bad,” that feeling anger is dangerous, that crying is a sign of weakness, or that sadness should be hidden. This way of relating to our inner world pulls us away from something essential: emotions are not the problem; the problem is how we avoid or judge them.
At Papaya Mind, we believe you don’t need to fix yourself—you need to listen to yourself more deeply. And for that, the first step is to stop fighting what you feel.
Why is it hard to feel?
If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “I don’t know what I feel,” you’re not the only one who’s felt that way. Our nervous system, in an effort to protect us, sometimes disconnects us from the sensitivity of our body and emotions when it perceives them as too intense or threatening.
Most of us have learned that, in order to please others, we have to ignore our internal signals in the moment and “put on a good face,” even when everything inside us is screaming something else.
Making peace with your emotions is not something that happens overnight. It’s a daily practice: one where you begin to treat what you feel not as something to correct, but as something to understand.
In the end, much of the emotional disconnection we experience comes from not realizing that emotions are not symptoms to eliminate but doorways to deeper understanding.
How to start: three simple steps
1. Name what you feel in your body—without a filter
The first step toward making peace with your emotions is to feel them. You don’t need to find the perfect word or justify anything. Start by paying attention to how your body feels: “I feel a knot in my stomach,” “I feel cold,” “My arms feel heavy.” Feeling your body without judgment and expressing what you notice is a way to get closer to yourself.
2. Observe without trying to change
When something hurts, our natural impulse is to make it go away. But what if, instead of pushing the emotion away, you sat with it for a moment? You can place a hand on your chest and tell yourself: “This is what’s here right now. And that’s okay.” The sensations you feel are signals that something in your life needs your attention.
3. Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love
Self-criticism only feeds distress. Try telling yourself gentle phrases like:
- “I allow myself to feel these emotions”
- “These emotions remind me that I’m alive and I’m a feeling being”
- “Feeling these emotions is a natural part of life”
- “There is nothing wrong with these emotions or with me for having them”
- “These emotions are temporary—they won’t last forever”
What you resist, persists — Carl Jung
This isn’t about feeling good all the time; it’s about creating an internal space where everything you are can exist without judgment. When you stop fighting yourself, there’s more energy to live, to create, to love.
And if today you can only do one thing, let it be this: breathe, and acknowledge that what you feel is valid—even if you don’t fully understand it yet.
Ready to start listening to what you feel without judgment? Basis of the Mind is our 30-day interactive therapeutic audioguide designed to help you reconnect with yourself, step by step. Through practical and symbolical exercises you’ll learn to understand your inner world with greater clarity and compassion.